ourflagmeansgay | REC: everybody knows how this goes, so lets get over it (and let's get this over with)

everybody knows how this goes, so lets get over it (and let's get this over with) (7033 words) by Aesthetic_Apples
Rating: Teen and Up
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Stede Bonnet & Israel Hands
Additional Tags: Israel Hands-centric, the izzy/ed pairing is one sided, Mary Bonnet is So Done, Humor, this might be izzy redemption, he's still an awful person

Summary: Blackbeard's post-breakup leadership style leaves much to be desired. As much as Izzy hates to admit it, Stede Bonnet might be the only one who can get through to him at this point. So he sets off on a quest to find him.

The prose and the voice in this one are HILARIOUS. Bonus points for everything that happens, because fuck Izzy's life.

Izzy’s head is feeling a bit fuzzy, and he can only really sway where he stands and focus on the rum puddled on the floor- par for the course at this point. He’s not really up for recognizing someone, especially if that someone is a patron of Spanish Jackie’s, so he’s not going to think about it too deeply. Maybe if he doesn’t respond they’ll go away.

“Allow me to buy you another as an apolog- you!”

Later, Izzy will look back on this moment and thank his lucky stars whilst simultaneously cursing his rotten luck.

Currently, he’s just a little dizzy and incredibly confused.

Stede fucking Bonnet stands in front of him looking decidedly un-mauled, un-marked, and un-crushed, cockroach that he is. Funny, actually, Roach is standing next to him. Actually he’s flanked by what seems to be his entire crew, which is… odd, considering the last he saw of them they were fading into a speck on the horizon.

All this to say, Stede looks very much alive. He also looks furious. Which is kind of a funny look on Stede, if Izzy’s honest. He giggles.

“You’re supposed to be dead. You’re… all… supposed to be dead,” he rasps. Not that he’s upset that they’re not, exactly. This is, admittedly, something he fantasized about as he traveled- Stede is somehow miraculously alive at the Republic of Pirates and Izzy doesn’t have to deal with the fallout of his death.

It’s a bit different in reality, though. For one thing, he failed to factor in the bone deep hatred the sight of him invokes. And the fact that the crew is alive. That’s kind of (incredibly) annoying. Though he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised that they’ve managed to claw their way out of the grave, seeing as how their very existence seems to be contrived solely to torment Izzy’s every waking moment.